I'm trying to be a PROFESSIONAL, people

Last week I went on an interview. I met with Johnny and Molly (not their real names...) Johnny and Molly are both about 15 years younger than I am. I think they were a little... appalled that I am SOOOO OLD. But, age discrimination aside, I have a bit of a problem.

I asked Johnny and Molly for their business cards. Molly gave me a card with just the company name (and an OLD street address) on it and I asked her if she could write their names on the card. And instead of writing John Hatesyu and Margaret Fakecheery she writes on the card Johnny, Molly and Sherry (I met Sherry for 2 seconds on my way out). So, if I want to write a thank you letter (thankfully I remember the REAL address), I have to either a) look like a dumbass and call to get their REAL names or b) look like a dumbass and address a letter to Johnny and another to Molly which is very informal and not at ALL professional.

Now there is probably a snowball's chance in hell that I will ever even hear from them again since, as I noted, they don't want me, Ms. Jurassic, working for them. Because who wants an office Mom telling you that your coffeecup is growing a science experiment and you'd better pick up that office RIGHT NOW young man and just WAIT until your CEO gets home...

Nevermind that I have a good 30 more years that I will be in the workforce and if I am, at earlyfortysomething, already being looked at like I should be shuffling off for the home, then there's an issue. For the record, I do NOT look to be fortysomething. But if you start talking about having 20 years of experience, I guess the young folks start envisioning you running with the wooly mammoths and you can just forget getting a job. I also thought it odd that Molly said that her fiance is asking her to "move on professionally" from the job which I wonder if it means he thinks she's too old to be "office bitch" or if he's worried that Johnny is gettin' some of the goodies on lunch break in the supply room. Or maybe I missed it and Johnny and Molly are dating and the company frowns on that (since the clients are starting to complain about product being tainted by liberated bodily fluids).

So, I guess I'll write my letters to Johnny and Molly and look like an asshat rather than calling (where Molly will answer the phone) and asking if I can please get REAL names for these folks. It's obvious to me that these kids could use some help (and I just have to say that Johnny had the most delicate, feminine hands I have EVER seen on a dude... it was a little creepy). I think it'll be a hoot for them to actually get letters sent to the correct address even though they did their damndest to thwart me!

Still pounding the pavement (of the Information Superhighway)

Hey y'all. I am still looking for painful gainful employment. It is a frustrating task. 300 applications later I've had a whopping two interviews. One of those I have already been rejected for. I have another interview on Friday but I am pretty convinced that working for a company that has a Better Business Bureau rap sheet that rivals Santa's "naughty" list is probably not a good career move and won't be at all surprised when they bait and switch and the "Administrative" position turns out to be whoring door-to-door. No thank you, not my cup of tea. I also don't much like the fact that the guy used a friggin' speakerphone to call me and his first question is "so, why are you looking for a job"? Dude... LOOK AT MY RESUME, ok? I sent it, along with an application and if you look... HEY, my last job was a thousand miles away from where I am currently applying from... could that, perhaps, be the reason I am seeking employment?

Seriously, though, I am not at all impressed with the agencies I've dealt with here so far. Y'all call me up, have me jump through hoops and then disappear like a rhino fart in the jungle (rhinos live in jungles, right?) and never tell me what I did wrong. Do you folks have some overlord that you need to send a "we conned X number of suckers into spending a half hour filling out paperwork" report to? At least the bitch at FruitNumber back where I used to live told me flat out that she didn't even ever TRY to place anyone over a size 8. But I am starting to get paranoid that something is going on somewhere and I'm not picking it up and it's just tanking all of my prospects. Yeah, I know the market is rough but a 300:2 ratio is absolutely ridiculous.

There is one agency out there that is advertising SPECTACULAR jobs but every time I go to apply for a new one (and this is all stuff that it is not at ALL a stretch to see that I am well qualified) I get a little popup that tells me that they have me on file, please stop applying. And, of course there is no phone number anywhere so I just have to sit and wait for them to deem me worthy of a scrap of their time.

I really hate to panic but the reality is that the money is about gone and when I start defaulting on credit cards and my credit score tanks, it's going to make getting a job that much more difficult. I suppose it is an option to start applying for jobs that are an hour plus one-way commute but then you have to ask for a higher salary to offset all the money you are throwing into the gastank and putting into repairs, increased frequency of oil changes and the like.

I did have a side project I was hoping would turn into something good, but I sent out a prototype and there haven't even been cricket chirps in response so I am thinking that's a bust.

Thinking that soon I will have to do something like hit the mall and see if there isn't a Claire's or something that is hiring. I don't know if I could cut it as a barista. I hear you have to have at least a Master's Degree to get those jobs these days!

"...we've decided to fill the position with a lemur..."

Ok, so... I went on the interview a while back and haven't heard a peep since. I'm thinking that means I should write that off and move onto the next thing. I sent a very nice thank-you letter (as you are supposed to) and have heard nothing. Is it really so difficult to send off a form e-mail "Thank you for applying, we've hired someone else/you're not what we're looking for/we've decided to fill the position with a lemur, please destroy our number and never again darken our doorstep".

Flash forward to the fiasco of the day. I got a call from a recruiting agency. I returned the call as instructed. About a minute into our conversation he VERY abruptly says "Yeah, listen, I'm gonna have to call you back, I have another call" **CLICK** So, here I am at my desk, holding my breath for the call back. Given that I was told he'd call back 40 minutes ago, I'm thinkin' that maybe, just maybe, homeboy isn't going to follow through with that. Just sayin'.

Yesterday, I got a call from a recruiter (seeing a pattern here?) and actually GOT the follow up email she said she'd send "right away" about 2 hours later. I filled out the attached form, scanned it, emailed it back, got acknowledgement that it was received and... that's right... not a peep since.

I was browsing ads yesterday and came across a really good job. Read the description and it was a perfect fit. Then I read the last line of the ad "Must have a SPOTLESS credit record, no exceptions". Now... my credit isn't bad. But I surely cannot call it SPOTLESS. Sigh. My theory is that their last Admin (and this was for a job which has NO financial responsiblities) embezzled an assload o' money or something. I dunno, I think that one's credit report is a really poor indicator of what sort of employee someone would be. But, this may be why I am not in management.

So... at the moment. No job for me. No good prospects. Guess I need to think of a good "plan B".

Interview Enigma

So, I ventured out on an interview today. I hate them. I hate the waiting AFTER an interview even more.

Did you ever have an interview where you got absolutely NO clue about whether it went well or not? Thus was my interview today with "Gus". I call him that not because it's his name, but it seems to fit.

Gus is an older gentleman. I think he would have done well selling used cars because he says the same thing over and over but pretties it up and obfuscates it well. Rather than give a name to any of their projects they were discussed as "the current project" and "the future project" and, well, there are many appealing things about the job, not the least of which is the mostly home office aspect of it and honestly, I think it's a cakewalk sort of job but... I got no real feel for how Gus was feeling and he had a weak, limp handshake, which I hate.

I do think it's sortve telling that ol' Gus didn't really ask alot about me. And called me by the wrong name twice. So, I am not holding my breath and will move on as if I still need to look. We shall see how things go.

The Invisible Visitors

So, a couple of posts ago I had mentioned that I was booking travel for some people. Or trying to book travel and meeting resistance to giving me adequate answers. Very frustrating. In any case, I understand that they did arrive (and there were no visitor badges for them which Euroboss was trying to say was because I didn't do what I'm supposed to do but Facilities Dude came down and apologized for having dropped the ball). Fine. Whatever.

Anyhow, they've allegedly been here two days and I've not seen hide nor hair of them. At all. Which is fine with me. That probably means they don't have anything to complain about as far as their accommodations (which I gave them a dozen recommendations for, they didn't hear what they wanted to hear which was "go ahead and stay at the $200 a night Hilton" so they asked someone ELSE in my group where to stay.) Fine. Whatever.

I went out and got the Wedding Gift for the Dude at Work who is getting hitched. Pretty good haul, if you ask me.

I think I suck at Fantasy Football. But I'm not dead last. Yet.

That's all I have for tonight! Sleep Well!

All roads lead to AAARRRGGGHHH!!

So, here we are... contemplating moving and needing to find jobs and running into one brick wall after another. Sure, they'd love to move forward with the hiring process, just come on down on Monday morning.... GAAAHHH!!! I'm still a 14 hour (one way) drive away from being able to do that. (Insert foul language here)!!

Want to rent a place to live? Sure, no problem, just fill out this application with the first friggin' question on it being "where do you work and what's your income?" GAAAAHH!! I don't have a job there yet so I don't have a job or income. And, of course, no one in their right mind will rent to someone with no job/income because rent relies on being able to pay.

Ok. So. Now what? We can't get jobs THERE when we are HERE. We can't get housing THERE without having jobs. And at the end of this month, neither of us will HAVE jobs and we have nowhere to live lined up and we are, in a word, screwed.

If ever an equation begged for (and then a miracle occurred) this is it.

Diva Princesses Don't Impress Me...

So, a few months back we had a woman come and interview. And all of my male co-workers (which is all but one of the rest of the "team") were falling all over themselves like horny teenagers because the lady has the "gigglejiggleteehee" going on like nobody's business. I was a little intrigued that when you google her name the first thing that comes up is her Facebook page. (She has a rather unusual name and her picture is there so I know it's her). Anyhoo, not surprisingly, they offered her a job (unbeknownst to me before they hired her was the fact that apparently "gigglejiggleteehee"is a highly sought skill in our field).

So, she started this week. And all I have heard out of her mouth is complaints. And all I can think is what a colossal pain in the posterior it is going to be to have to work with someone who has been around for less than a week and already looks at me like I am something nasty she stepped in.

I have really tried to be nice and welcoming and mentioned that if there is a specific type of soda she likes I can certainly try to get it into the rotation when I go shopping. (Hell, I bought rootbeer for the guy who has backhandedly said to my face twice now that he thinks I'm stupid). But I'll be honest and say that the whole whiny diva thing gets old with me very quickly and I struggle to give a damn. Certainly, if there were legitimate issues that needed to be addressed, I would do so with haste. As I did for the gangly youngster who also just started and who very politely asked me what he needed to do to get his issues worked out (which I was able to take care of in just moments).

I should have known what to expect when she pulled the Princess calendar out of her bag and hung it up in her cube first thing. (No lie, she has a PRINCESS calendar) ::Sigh::