Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Back to the waiting game...

I had an interview this morning. First interview in 2 weeks. I want this job. I am absolutely terrified that I am not going to get this job and if you cannot get a job that SCREAMS "good fit" then what do you do?

It's an industry I haven't worked in before. You know what? The industry (which I won't name here) is so specific that there just aren't going to be a lot of people who are not scientists who HAVE worked in the industry. In the past decade I have learned legal and medical terminology, I taught myself HTML and some CSS, I learned 3 new (to me) software packages and was doing front-line phone support for them in a WEEK. I am not some idiot who just fell off a turnip truck and I can do this job.

I am supposed to hear something about this job today. It's 3PM and I've not heard anything. As the clock ticks toward 5, I become more and more anxious.

I want to reset the counter. It's getting close to 90 days. And November is coming, which means businesses are going to stop hiring until after the 1st of the year.

The waiting... is the hardest part.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Maybe she was right...

In 1992 I was told by an efficiency expert brought in to the place I was working that I was in the wrong field and needed to get out immediately. I was five years into the career that I remain in to this day. I was told that I was absolutely lousy at what I was doing and that I could never hope to be a success at it. I had (and still have) no other skills.

Most of the time, I have felt that this person was wrong and that I AM good at what I do. Or, at least, I am not a dismal failure at it.

But there are days, like today, when I look at it all and wonder if maybe she was right. That maybe I do completely suck at what I do even though I've been doing it for a long time now.

I have no idea what else I could have done or what I could do now that's different.

Maybe she was right. Maybe I should have listened. Maybe I'm just fooling myself into thinking I am capable. Maybe after a good nights sleep it will look better in the morning.

Monday, October 11, 2010

The State of MsCleanslate

I've been neglectful, but it isn't willfully, my friends. A check of the ticker in my sidebar will show you that I am still not working, so I haven't been distracted by a new job.

No, I've been distracted by dealing with the job hunt. Whilst I am being asked to take tests to measure my integrity, I am dealing with people who I honestly believe have no clue what that word means.

Potential Employers... you aren't doing ANYONE favors when you tell people you'll "call them either way" and then never contact them. Believe me, I will remember every single business that did this to me and I will never do business with them AND I will tell whomever my employer is to never do business with them. Sure, that's a pittance in relation to your HUGE customer base, but it would have taken a 15-second email to keep my wrath at bay. It is shady ethically and it is JUST PLAIN RUDE.

To the lady at the agency who knew the second she saw me that she wasn't going to hire me but spent almost an hour with me anyways (and then never made any contact...I'm forgiving you for this because you could have told me "we filled the position" and shooed me out the door and you didn't), I know that you could have (and likely your boss thinks that you SHOULD have) done things differently and I thank you for your time and consideration most sincerely.

I'm trying to keep my spirits up, but I know once we hit November, hiring will enter a freeze period. I am feeling the crunch, I am being less selective in what I apply for even knowing I will likely regret the compromise in the long run. "Bird in the hand......." and all that.

It's funny... I've been to a dozen agencies now... maybe more. They've run the gamut from the debutante cotillion type of atmosphere ("we just simply are not sure that you have the proper pedigree to work here...") to the trailer park atmosphere (don't blink, we'll be packin' up and movin' on any day now...) Or maybe a better analogy is that I have been to both the Nordstroms and the Walmart of agencies. The thing they all have in common? None of them have any work for me.

So, that's where things are with me right now. Be Well.