Dear Person for Whom I Have Been Tasked With Booking Travel For:
I have asked you the same very specific set of questions twice now. Without the information I have requested, I cannot book your travel. Every day closer to your arrival, airfare will go up. I'd think you'd want to step it up a bit, my friend. But, let's imagine for a moment that you don't give a rat's ass about the budget. How about the fact that you'll end up traveling on a red-eye? Does that make you want to step up the pace?
Seriously, it isn't that difficult. What day do you want to travel? Sure, you've told me when you're visiting but are the first and last days your travel days? I'm sorry I can't intuit that for someone I've never met.
Which airport (of the 2-3 possibilities) do you want to fly out of? Which do you want to fly in to? Again, I'm sorry I can't intuit that for someone I've never met.
Which hotel do you want to stay in? Do you get free booze & porn at the TwoShrubbery Hotel, which is where most of your compatriots want to stay even though it's double the policy-approved room rate? Do they have a super cool "hookers and blow" package that I'm unaware of? (Corporate Code = 69-Eightball)
And hey, now you say you're booking the flight on your own? Super. Thanks for waiting til 4:44 to tell me. Ah, yeah, I know you're in California and don't care that I want to go home.
Wait a minute... you got to California from your home office SOMEHOW, yet you're trying to tell me you've never booked travel before? I was born at night buddy, but not LAST NIGHT!
If you're smart, you will not leave your hotel booking to me... I will set you up at Motel 6 and make sure to write your room number on some bathroom walls in "that" part of town so you're sure to get company whilst you visit.
Hate & Pinches,